Middle names are well, stuck in the middle
between first names and
last names. Middle names
are the ugly stepchild of names because they are the least
important of all names that a person can have.
The first name is the most important
being first and the last name is the next most important
being last, but the middle name is so unimportant
that many people do not even have them.
The meanings of the middle names vary from pathetic
to unworthy. Often a middle name is given on a lark
by the parents or some sort of sadistic inside joke.
Ever once in a blue moon (you left me standing alone)
a parent will bestow a middle name upon a child
with sound reasoning and a strong sense of self,
family pride and identity.
This is not the case for you, my friend. Both of our sets
of parents gave us our middle names as jokes. It is now
well time that you come to terms with this and give up the
denial. It doesn't matter what they've told you. It's a
Now, that said, middle names can be fun if you happen to
be a sadistic parent and would like to get your kicks by
give a joke middle name. Francis is always a good one. Butterscotch
is even better.
Middle names don't have much identity in and of themselves.
Most parents pick middle names because they have two first
names they like and can't really decide, which to use so
they choose both. Sometimes the middle name honors a parent
or grandparent or some other beloved member of the family.
At least this is what the sadistic parent tell you as a
cover story, because remember it is really a joke.
Middle names can also sometimes be last names such as the
wife's maiden name or some such blather. It matters not.
Middle names are lame and that's all there is to it. They
bestow neither identity like first names nor genealogical
information like last names.
In fact, if you don't have a middle name, you have the
advantage of picking your own. Frisbee has always been one
of my favorite middle names for those who don't have one.
Sweetie Pie is another.